Laura DraneRelapses in recovery can be devastating, and can be the beginning of the end of some people’s recovery journey.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
There are some sure-fire ways of getting over a relapse (see my next blog post) and some precautions that can be taken to minimise the risk of relapse.
IMO many relapses on substances occur because one or more behavioural addictions have not been addressed.
For example, if you get clean and sober from alcohol and drugs (well done!) but have an untreated behavioural addiction such as an eating disorder, Sex & Love Addiction or a shoplifting addiction, you run a high risk of relapsing on substances.
I believe this is because the actual addictive process has never been arrested. It has just crossed-over onto a behaviour (which has probably been there longer than the substance addiction).
So until the overall addictive process (way of thinking, compulsivity, mental obsession, preoccupation etc) has been arrested one-day-at-a-time, there is ALWAYS a risk that you will pick up a substance to quieten your head!
Also… it is very difficult to feel good about ourselves when we are acting out in a way that is harmful to ourselves or others. And if we don’t feel good about ourselves – what do we generally do? Eventually?
That’s right … drink or use drugs.
Of course there are other reasons that people relapse, such as not working a programme, avoiding contact with other recovering people, continually putting oneself in risky situations etc and these factors should be avoided at all costs if we want to stay clean and serene!
But if you are relapsing AND working a programme by going to meetings, talking to your sponsor etc perhaps you need to be really honest about whether there is a behavioural addiction lurking, that is not being addressed?
And by really honest I mean considering addictions such as:
- Scratch cards
- Compulsive over-eating
- Excessive obsession with body image and looks / Plastic surgery procedures
- Avoidance of intimacy (yes that is an addiction!)
- Compulsive use of porn and masturbation
- Shopping / Spending / Debting
- Bulimia
It is possible that acting-out in these and other behavioural addictions will not affect your abstinence from alcohol and other drugs. You may well stay clean for years. HOWEVER it is unlikely that your self-esteem will reach its potential (essential for long-term recovery) or that you will feel a true sense of FREEDOM.
Because although you are no longer a slave to drugs and alcohol, ANY form of addictive process robs you of your freedom.
So… if you recognise yourself in any of the above behaviours, or just want to deepen your understanding of yourself and your recovery; there are plenty of places to get help. In fact for every addiction there is an Anonymous Fellowship. So get yourself along to the appropriate one and do the work.
I believe this will give you the best chance of sustaining your recovery from substances. And surely it’s better to be in ABA (Anorexics & Bulimics Anonymous) admitting you are bulimic, than sitting in AA pretending you’re not?
Go for it. You deserve the FREEDOM.
It’s good to talk…