Our internal dialogue literally says so much about how we feel about ourselves. It is a good indicator of the level of our self-esteem and generally, the more abusive the rhetoric, the lower the self-esteem.
For example, when you make a genuine mistake what do you say to yourself internally?
Perhaps you call yourself a name, like ‘idiot’. Or you use it to prove that you’ve always known you were useless or stupid: “I knew I’d mess that up. I never get anything right. I’m such a loser.”
Maybe your ‘go-to’ insult is to do with your appearance: “My thighs are so fat, why am I so disgusting?”
However your inner-critic talks to you, whether it’s obvious and insulting or more insidious and cunning, one thing is probably certain – you wouldn’t hang around people too long who spoke to you in that way! So WHY OH WHY do we think it’s OK to talk to ourselves like this all the time?
I believe that changing the way we talk to ourselves is fundamental to our relationship with ourselves and others. Surely it is impossible to have a positive relationship with your self if you are constantly giving your self a hard time and being abusive? And if you’re constantly giving yourself a hard time, you’re probably doing the same to the people in your life.
If we can lighten up with ourselves and learn to speak in a kinder and more loving way to ourselves, this will shine through in our relationships with others. After all it’s difficult to relate to others from a place of contentment and peace if there’s a stream of abuse going on in our heads.
So, the question you may be asking is ‘how do I change the habit of a lifetime?’.
Well, just because you have always done something, doesn’t mean that it’s not possible to stop. In my experience, it just takes practice.
Here are 5 tips that I have used myself and suggested to others I work with:
- When you make a mistake try saying ‘whoopsie’ in your head. This is especially effective when spoken with a lisp ♥
- When you catch yourself going on and on and on at yourself about something, try singing yourself a little song. I particularly like ‘hush little baby, don’t say a word…’
- If you find yourself really giving yourself a verbal kicking in your head, say hello to your inner-critic and ask it what it needs. Are you hungry inner-critic? Tired? Thirsty?
- Practice not being abusive to your inner-critic. Don’t get into an argument with him/her, it’ll just create more angst.
- Think of one affirmation that really hits the spot for you and use it often. One I particularly like is ‘I will not let feeling fat ruin my day. It is irrelevant.’
I am passionate about the power of our internal dialogue. It can genuinely determine whether or not we have a good day. We need to learn to be our own best friend, stop slagging ourselves off and give ourselves a break.
Spread the love guys… ♥